i dont know what to say
now i'm feeling lower then low
everything is so wrong
everything i do is freaking wrong
i think people like me dont deserve to have friends
i dont deserve to go through life with company
i guess being a superwoman was meant for me
just work and work and work
going through life like some dummy
hardening the heart till you see it dark
feeling nothing
not even the wind in your face
i hate being condemn for things that i do which people say up to you, just dont regret it
i made my choice
yet something happens, it's my fault
whatever it is
i'm dragged back into the situation
as if this is not bad enough
everything i answer is not right
people find fault in me in a snap
first from my actions
then to the way i message
then to the way i talk
is there anymore?
maybe to the way i walk, eat, sleep, CARE FOR FRIENDS!!!
i hate it when people just end the conversation on their own when it's still ongoing
like everything is my fault
fine!
everything is my fault then
blame it on me meeting you people
blame it on me for agreeing to go japan and i have to start working
blame it on me to join this company
blame it on me for still being here
BLAME IT ON ME FOR BEING BORN ON TO THIS WORLD

i havent blog in awhile
no motivation to
i rather place it else where
i dont know what else to say now
doing something
is my fault
not doing something
is also me
either way
whatever i do now
gets more and more people involved
more and more people being angry at me
maybe i should just disappear?
quit?
run away?
gone from the face of the earth
runaway from people who says they'll listen to me
norman asked what happened to the zoee we once know?
i dont know how to answer
i wasnt a crowd pleaser last time
i had my independence
what has become of me
who have i become?

my heart beats thinking of it
my legs shaked when it happened
i dont know what to say
i dont know what to do to make things better
i dont know how to make things better
i dont know

hmmm
i think i screwed my midpoint
oh well
hahah
i got my phone already
having fun with it
haha
anyway
cant remember what happened the past few days
let me think
tuesday
i went over to ps to get my phone and contract settled
sandy and glenn came over to find me
after that we had dinner at long john
coz that sandy only want to eat long john xD
that day one leg crippled the other hand crippled
haha
damn funnie la
anyway after that glenn went off for movie with his parents
sandy and i headed for work
work was...
hmm
foreign?
many new comers
haha
anyway wednesday was midpoint
i think i screwed it
and i think i mentioned it already
okay
nevermind
thursday i went for work at 10
worked till 3
after that went to meet glenn, sandy and yvonne
we went for our jab at paragon
then headed down to diners for dinner
we had uh hum (drum rolls)
ceasar salad
mushroom monsters
bratwurst jamboree
ribeye steak
nydc burger
braised lamb shank
hahha
a lot?
i think okay la
anyway herrsong joined in the middle of dinner
after that we went 1st floor for some deserts
coz herrsong complained cold
we ordered solid gold and jedi mudster
went for a walk at heeren
i tagged along for their window shopping
haha
we left for home around 8 plus
and i'm home doing things on my phone
ahahha
anyway
zoee thinks she's getting FAT

stupidity has a name
and guess what
it's a she
foolishness has a name
the name starts with Z
a fool knows no end
just like regret
regret has a name
with only 3 different letters
emo has a name
there are 4 letters in the name
apparently all this boils down to one name
a sucker name zoee

why is it everytime i made an effort to do something nice
i get rejected?

why is it everytime i made a choice to not care
i ended up getting dragged back in because it's my fault?

why is it everytime i can worry about people
but no one worries about me?

why is it everytime something happens to you
people automatically turns all fingers to me?

why is it everytime i want to do something right
i ended up feeling so stupid?

why is it everytime i take a path
it still seems like the wrong one?

why is it everytime i wanna move on
i fail miserably?

WHY!!!!!

i dont know what to do anymore
i'm lost
i'm confused
i cant stay
i cant walk away
sigh

lalala
i waiting for my mum mum
anyway
yesterday
for once
i ended work at 11 instead of my usual
went out with von, glenn, siew chin, brenda, nelson, herrsong
hahah
we totally didnt know what to do
haha
anyway it started with me and glenn working
then herrsong and von came earlier to wait for us
von ordered boo boo
and came out a boo boo combo
haha
too bad i got no visual though
nelson came after that
anyway
after we ended work at 11
we went to cine while waiting for siew chin and brenda
when we were there, glenn realise he forgot his mp3
haha
so we decided to go back
i bought some donuts back to ny
gave them to pauline, su and ren jie i think
haha
sorry su for forgetting you dont like chocolate ):
after brenda and siew chin arrived (rich kids cabbed down -.-)
anyway we went long john to makan first
while we decided what to do
we wanted to go kbox
but after we checked out the pricing
oh man
it's like 35 per person
like wow
so we ended up going to level 9
still deciding what to do
we played photohunts and foos ball
then we headed down to kpool
played till 3 and we went
we went hong kong cafe to makan even more
and we ended up playing 5 10 15 with the remainders
lol
anyway after that
about 430
we went to the bus stop to take nr/ cab
we had a race
and it was hillarious
2 race, 2 laughing sessions
haha
loves
hang out more (:

i guess i should be happy
heeren won captain ball interoutlet games again
and this time
we beat all the other teams
all our efforts paid off
good work girls
thanks to
captain
vice captain
silent killer
prankster aka fatt choy
laughing bag
monkey 1
monkey 2
the shy one
rest well yeah all?

who do i hate?
zoee
why do i hate?
coz of you
zoee feels like shit
thanks to shits
people say i should wait
i wish i had
i feel like a fool
that was just pranked

hmmm
my leg still hurts
no where else though
which is a good and bad thing
haha
anyway did flash in class today
my work failed coz i missed out one step
and because of that one step
the entire thing couldnt work at all
anyway
i did all this in the midst of having a runny nose
causing me to feel miserable at school
having fyp tomorrow morning
hahaha
i think i should go sleep now xD
anyway
i got matt permission to use his current pm
because it's not the words, it's the deliveries
how true it is actually
words are words alone if not accompanied by actions
especially since words couldnt be trusted

wow
my feet hurts
was working yesterday
hmmm
let me think if there is anything funnie
nothing funnie i think
dont know
cant remember
haha
but i had to work coldside
so yeah
anyway
had training just now
from 3 plus to 7
then after dinner
we went giordano ( zoee dont know how to spell -.-)
coz during practice we wanted to get headbands coz of von
she wrapped a towel around her forehead
so that explains the idea
haha
but during dinner we changed our mind
we decided to have a team shirt instead
so look out for it during competition day yeah
oh by the way
practice was great
we had fun
we familiarize
and i think we can do it
(:
anyway
weeling joined us for dinner
we had western at s11
and i think that is the reason i had stomachache on the way home
anyway
we had another round after dinner
for about 30 minutes?
then the cc off lights
so no choice
we left
haha
anyway
fruitful day
and i'm tired
feet is killing me
haha
i need to wake up for school tomorrow
YOU CAN DO IT ZOEE!

a momento to you

it came back to this
it's been 5 years
and this year is the only year in 3 years
that i did not go to the beach
i remember how you said
when you're gone
you'd want us to sprinkle you all across the sea
ashes to ashes, dust to dust
i'm still the same after 5 years
i still miss you till now
there is no moment in time i dont wish you are here
on the streets, i see how people treat theirs
i wish you were there
to show you how much i care
people dont see the loss
till they get to call it their own
i wont call anyone else what i call you
coz there is no one who should and can replace you
i miss you

stupidity runs in the veins
lies runs in life
cruelty runs in friendship
worthlessness runs in circles

i feel like i just fell into another trap
by reading
by replying
i feel like shit now