so feel like changing blog skin
but so lazy
and no time of course
shhh
hahaha
i finally made what i used to
atleast for last month
considering now is like april
kinda sad that my third home closed down
no more work there
so sad
CHA finally called
and i got my first assignment
got to think about unis already
considering today is the first day of may already
argh
think think think
zZz
nevermind
gotta crash in soon
need to wake up for work later
so i'm just gonna make it short
on what i really wanted to say
for the first time in a long while
i started admiting who my best friend is again

i dont know
kinda pissed now
quite actually
i mean like what the hell was it at work man
then apparently some poeple say it means something
but still dont bother to reply
like what the hell
WHAT THE HELL

cold, misery
tension, tears
some of the things i went through the past 48 hours
horrible

still drain from it
for once in a long long time
i couldnt call my third home,
home

it was cold, tense,
fake, rejected
it felt like you standing
alone against the world

all you feel is fear
loneliness
rejected, dejected
in the cold cold atmosphere

on top of that
feeling the issue before
wondering what to do
how to do

searching for the better ways
understanding better
hoping better
and snap!

for once in 4 months
i can feel it flow
like tap and water
for atleast an hour, unstoppable

even now, drips here and there
it's everything that you kept in
pouring out now
just through the little crack

tired, drain
i want a break
i need a break
before i break again


those suppose to be there wasnt there
doubt you two even know
at the end
the only one who knew
is a friend

there are things i dont know what to do
somethings i dont know how to handle
make that a lot of those things

i tried thinking about it
try to figure out what to do
but to no results

changing my style in life
doing things normally i dont do

i havent been blogging in awhile
things happened
i thought about things
my dad came back for my graduation
which was on tuesday morning
kinda boring and scary
but just hoo haa with STA one last time
got pissed at the fact that you cant even act as hi bye friends
but only as phone buddies

it's really frustrating
when you know that you can spare some time for someone
and the person keep asking
though the person knows you cant
it's like what's the point of that person asking
you know how difficult it is to say no again
especially since the person knows why you cant arrange a meet up
so all you thought would help is that text more
which the person stops halfway
you know how irritating is that?
the person can text you twice when you dont reply
and when you do,
the person refuse to reply

then there is scenario 2 where you dont even ask that someone to go out
and all you want is just text?
a wave?
and hip hip hooray
all you get is just a reply when the person is free
which would be like 5 minutes in 24 hours?
another frustration
irritance
annoyance

i hate it when people dont reply text