i think i need to be stronger
i dont know
it's like i see the newsfeed and then i found out that some people can go on facebook and then not even bother to reply to it.
i really dont feel like it happening
can i just stop time here
never moving forward
never moving at all
or just drop dead now?
sounds good no?
i dont know
it's like going according to what i want
but i can just handle it?
like what the hell?
can i just disappear?
or maybe i just want to say
you're invited but i dont care if you're coming a not
argh!

PASSED!
wahahahahah
next stop 0709
haha
gotta start studying soon
let me relax a little first
ehhh
dont know what else to blog
when i get inspiration first
then i'll come back


i dont think at the end of the day
wo kan bu qi ni
i think i'm just not giving me a chance to believe

40/50
dang
i need the 6 more points to pass
i'm planning on doing 1 or 2 more test before i knock out later
check my developments
had work this morning
finslly got what i want
and then i hear more bad news
argh
maybe i should join everyone in leaving
but then i wont have anything to do
i also dont know what to do
maybe i should just dont do anything
about anything
dont know la
screwed
lost
confused
retarded

okay i skip a day of the test but nevermind
today's score was 42/50
omg
no good
nevermind
try again
i have work at 1230 and i'm still not redy for sleep yet
argh
after this i guess
i have loads to talk about
think about
decide about

firstly, i think i miss you?
i dont know what did i do and you stopped replying me
it's totally irritating
the least you could do is tell me to stop bugging you?

secondly, i think my life is pretty screwed
primary school mates which i lost contact with for 9 years coz i moved over suddenly started tagging me on fb
thanks to a photo someone published
and guess what, they're either in uni
melbourne?
new zealand?
and their either studying or graduated
or is it just me being slow
or is it just the system here

thirdly, i think i miss school?
coz apparently only when you're in school, you have friends?
i hate it when people dont reply
i hate it when i feel like shit and no one knows
i hate it when people want me, i'm there, but not the other way around
i hate it when i thought i have friends but i feel alone
i hate it that my 21 is coming and with this shit i'm feeling, i dont want it to come
it's like i'm back to square 1
feeling alone
again
times square

today's result- 43/50
improvements
wahahaha
i'm aiming perfect score
wahahhaha
anyway
did laundry today
did groccery as well
had dinner with mj
or lunch
or tea
i also dont know
basically met her like 4 to makan
had delifrance
and omg
the food is horrible
seriously
the standard dropped a lot
anyway tomorrow's agenda would be to clean the bathroom
gonna fold the clothes later
i wanna catch g force and proposal
anyone?

8 more days till my test
did a trial just now
40/50
fail
zZz
nevermind
i shall try again
everyday do once atleast
haha
still have things to do
find school
decide the big day
plan my time out
haha
got to clean house tomorrow before meeting mj
if i am meetinng her
most likely dinner time only
but i'm cool with that
so tomorrow need to
wash and fold clothes
vaccum and mop
toilet and shower area
haha hopefully i can make it all in time
lol
tuesday working again
zZz
tired already
this months pay go into a few things i guess
haha
oh well
see how la
i need to lose weight!!!

sian.
i totally forgot when did i last blog
haha
oh well
my week was
hmmm
monday worked till 6
tuesday had a meeting from 3 to 5
wednesday had work in the morning till 3
after which i went home to rot
haha
yesterday went out for dinner and movie with mj and jy
totally forgot to take photo
haha
we went jurong point
crystal jade la mian xiao long bao for dinner
after that where got ghost
i seriously cannot watch horror
zZz
even comedian horror
zZz
half the time i was behind my hands or eye lids
zZz
zoee lousy!!!
anyway i'm gonna go hit the shower soon
intend to leave house early
gonna (finally) head to ssdc to register for btt
i'm thinking i can get everything done by next cny
can go back and rent a car
drive my granny around
(:
and i found out when's mid autumn fest already
oh and working later as well
gonna walk rasQ first
ciao

sian diao
whole of last week was working
can die
really
monday morning
tuesday 1230 to 11
wednesday camp 645 to 7?
thursday camp 645 to 10?
and i totally overslept
set the wrong time
haha
friday 1030 to 11
saturday 1130 to 4
then rush home for steamboat
sunday 1130 to close
monday 1030 to 6 again
today off also like no off
had to go back for meeting
zZz
sian la
damn tired
anytime can knock out for hours
just to wake up with aches
old already la
zZz

okay
i spend like 5 hours watching anime?
haha
this is what i do for my rest day of the week?
omg man
tomorrow i'm doing full
oh by the way,
my cable digital box is toast
now i have to squeeze in a trip to the centre as well
dang
my plan for wednesday and thursday changed as well
camps
2 days only
atleast i get to see rasQ
oh well
still need to get other things done
michelle's not online now
so cant skpe her
i need to go sleep soon as well
need to wake up early for pcb before work
dang
i'm still deciding what to do next week
mj's starting uni
i have to find my school
i have to decide what to do for the big day
also squeeze in time for steamboat shopping
argh
cramped up schedule
i still need to get my psp settled
sigh
need more energy or more time!!!

i have been updating in awhile
been working since my dad left
i'm really trying to kill myself
maybe it's a good form of distraction as well
i havent found my school yet
and it's the beginning of august already
oh well
i have things to look out for in the next 1 week
but i dont know when will i have time
next week i'm packed again
i've been working non stop for 2 weeks
next week would be
monday, work till 3
tuesday, pcb then working till night
wednesday, camp
thursday, camp
friday, full shift of work
saturday, work till 4 then rush home for steamboat
sunday, full.
oh man
i have to squeeze my research in between everything then
still need to search for other things other then just my school
i need to search for a holiday place
plus i'm thinking of finding my job attachment for after october
a lot of things to do, a lot of time
but no motivation
usual
time to get your ass off, zoee